Wednesday, 16 May 2012
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Locks, Oxytocin and Us
I see that there may be some kind of limit thing about to happen on Xanga with locks. I'm not concerned because I don't use any locks. When I first got on here not too long ago, I didn't know anything about locks or trolls or whatever because, for those of you who don't know, I'm relatively new to computers and the internet. After a while on Xanga, I was hit by a few trolls and also learned what locks were. I didn't like them because I figured, "Who cares, it's just the internet. None of this is real."
As time passed though, I came to realize that I had become emotionally involved with the people I was "talking" to here. Then Corvyus Morte supposedly committed suicide here and I actually had tears over that. My my. The worst thing though is that I was becoming deeply responsive to the comments and number and views I got, which could effect my moods and how my day went. Very bad for someone who still doesn't believe the internet is reality. After a while I began identifying what I was feeling online more with the fact that we are chemical creatures and that being involved in social networking releases certain chemicals in us, like oxytocin. As a side note, I had a long and tortuous experience with infatuation in my life. I thought infatuation was love into my fourties and it took me another decade to fully discern the difference. So I referenced my long history of infation and compared it to the feelings I was having with Xanga/social networking. Very similar indeed.
When I saw the effects that trolls had on some people I was amazed. How could they let this bother them? Trolls were just another part of the unreal world of the internet. Then, as I became more emotionally attached to the people I was blogging with, I could see how trolls affected them, and, after I got hit by a few myself, I actuallt felt some urge to get rid of them, but it wasn't that strong. More, I felt like playing with them because my evil dark side has nothing to do these days and I thought it would be fun to mess with them. After all, what could a 20 or 30 something disgruntled socially unbalanced hate filled twit say that could possibly upset a man with over six decades experience of dealing with this shitty planet? But I digress.
I guess it could be kinda like artists and writers responding to critics - some it bothers and some it doesn't. And some learn how to not let it bother them. I guess I'm in that last catagory. I'm a very feeling individual (a MAN no less tee hee) so I feel every reply I get. I've finally developed a detachment from all this though. You see, as I said before, I'm a late comer to the internet world. I grew up without computers and all these sophisticated eletronic gizmos we have now, so I know what real reality feels like. All I have to do to seperate myself from the effects of the internet is switch back to the reality I had in my mind BC - Before Computers. Now excuse me while I go to youtube to see how many hits my latest video has while I fight off false feelings of hoping it will go viral and I will be discovered and become rich and famous so I can go to Korea and be a musician in SNSDs group. Boo hoo hoo
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Comments (6)
i feel a little dejected because i never have trolls come visit me. boo hoo. just the russian federation.
then again, i don't share opinions, just life. so i am too boring for trolls. and that's ok too.
Indeed. Opinions are the substance of modern day rigmarole, that's my opinion.
If you've never had a visit from xanga's most famous delusional fundy fucktard (and resident historical revisionist) LoBorn - in any of his various incarnations, I consider you fortunate. He's tenacious as all hell, ban him and he'll come back with another ID.
I freely admit, I loathe the fucker. Therefore I don't deal with him at all unless he slithers onto my blog.
On the up side though, I think it's great that people are building friendships online and caring for one another. At the risk of sounding like a Care Bear, that's what we're here for.
The internet is a pretty dangerous place as we all know. Important thing about it, is to not become overly dependant of it. One can socialize here, but remember that the only real socializing world is in the outside world. I think if one is able to balance ones life in regards to real and internet, all these trolls or other idiots who don't have a life, sort of go over ones head. I get people all the time who try to test my will here. Some make offensive comments. I take it from where it originates from and let it ride. I mean the real world is full iof real challanges. These idiots that try to make you jump here, as far as I'm concerned aren't worth fighting over with.
Like you I am deeply fond of many people here on Xanga and I do apologise. Whenever Xanga makes a big change or upgrade, I loose half of my subs and it takes me forever to get back to resubbing.
You are a very talented guitarist and I enjoy your playing on you tube.Just stopping by to say hi and am headed out the door with hubby to watch the sunset.BC ... I love it!